So I have made a desk space and I have filled the space with my art supplies, I have looked through some 'old' artwork, and I have embarked on my wanderlust adventure...
I managed to download the lesson despite our interesting wifi (we use the term lightly) - more normally referred to as the 'without fi'...
and I even found time to watch it between henhouse and green house repairs following our storms...
Then I did the background without really feeling 100% engaged, in fact I believe I expressed a little disappointment to my hubby - 'oh' I said, 'I'm not sure what I will get out of this one...'
Mr G explained to me: you are unengaged because it's not really you.
What's not really me? I enquired - at which point he retorted "oh Gracious - did I just say that out loud?"
Explain yourself I demanded,
At which point he quite rightly summed the situation up thus:
1. For no good reason you have a real problem with certain american accents (and he advised me to think on - as apparently my own french accent can induce winces at 1000 yards)
2. You do not believe in magic (of the fairy kind)
3. You have to think about playing it won't come naturally and you understand why - so give yourself a break and let go a bit (like the tutor said)
4. Whilst as your husband I love (and am legally bound to) your kind of art madness it isn't every ones cup of tea, and you should judge others approach to the art world far less harshly. Since I manage to live with you (and that is way above and beyond a normal persons abilities)...as such you could give this tutor a chance, do as she asks, and enjoy yourself.
Well that told me eh?
So I tried again: I forgot the accent, thought about the kind of magic I do believe in, pulled out my inner child that often would like to play but rarely gets permission, and drew upon the quote I often referred to when coping with impossible situations during 32 years serving others as a Nurse.
At which point I realise I am truly grateful that I no longer live and work in the UK where winter pressures blight the NHS workplace 12 months a year...
No- one can change something as big as the nhs but each individual within it is trying very much to do their level best to provide a safe and effective service.
Retirement suits me I think.
Here is phase two of the background (phase one is on yesterdays post).
Remember the nurses series "angels" ? I suddenly recalled it, and that I have many times been called an angel by my patients... a little love goes a long way...